Creator babysitter?

It’s MY baby

Yesterday I met with one friend who has just started managing one super lovely cafe/ chocolate shop. He wants to bring more people into the new place by organizing social meetings of various kinds there. This fellow used to come to my events when I ran the Chat & Chai project. He saw it on Facebook that I was moving out of town and was offering someone else to take the wheel of managing events. This got him interested. And so we met to discuss it all.

As I was walking to the chocolate place, loads of memories started flooding into my head. I remembered the very first meetings some five years ago, how we grew, what lovely guests and events we had, how openly we discussed even the most delicate issues… And suddenly I felt a certain clinging to my baby. What’s gonna happen to it? Are any of the loyal members gonna like and attend the new version of it? 

Or is it?

Finally we sat down for a cup of tea to talk it over. I shared a little bit of history of this project with the wanna-be organizer and he was smiling in appreciation. And as I was about to start with some motherly recommendations: make sure you do this right,  they like it when we do it like that I suddenly bit my tongue. I remembered a phrase by Glennon Doyle Melton Be a creator, not a babysitter and it finally dawned on me – It’s not your baby. Let it go. The process of creation was like taking care of a baby, but once it’s done, once I have decided to let it into the world as an independent entity I cannot run chasing after it. It’s not my job!

Still learning

I realized that I WAS indeed ready to let it go as my creative energy is concentrated on writing now. And I am more than happy that someone decided to give it a new life, a new taste and look. Who knows what it is going to turn out into: stay the same, become a literary or a comedy club, political or gay community? It’s no longer in my hands to control it. And honestly, I don’t want to. I trust the universe and strongly believe that it’s gonna be just as it is supposed to be. So later that night I sat down at the computer. I put the guy as the admin of the page. I removed myself from that position and sent my blessings. Run my baby! You’re a big boy now. I trust you’ll be just fine. I felt relieved and proud.

This is a lesson I am still learning. Creative process is so all consuming, you put all your heart into it and it does often times feel like tending a very fragile baby of yours. However I have seen a number of times that too much attachment to your work is not at all a virtue. Following my creations and trying to protect them from the harsh world drains me off energy so needed for further creative endeavors. I know I’ve got to learn to let them run free into the wild (or wide world web:) and take care of themselves if I don’t want to turn into a paranoid babysitter. Learning it daily, one baby at a time…


Are you also in the creative process? How do you deal with attachment issues, folks?


A mother, but only of ONE,

Aurora Slim




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