Yesterday I met with one friend who has just started managing one super lovely cafe/ chocolate shop. He wants to bring more people into the new place by organizing social meetings of various kinds there. This fellow used to come to my events when I ran the Chat & Chai project. He saw it on Facebook that I was moving out of town and was offering someone else to take the wheel of managing events. This got him interested. And so we met to discuss it all.
As I was walking to the chocolate place, loads of memories started flooding into my head. I remembered the very first meetings some five years ago, how we grew, what lovely guests and events we had, how openly we discussed even the most delicate issues… And suddenly I felt a certain clinging to my baby. What’s gonna happen to it? Are any of the loyal members gonna like and attend the new version of it?
Finally we sat down for a cup of tea to talk it over. I shared a little bit of history of this project with the wanna-be organizer and he was smiling in appreciation. And as I was about to start with some motherly recommendations: make sure you do this right, they like it when we do it like that I suddenly bit my tongue. I remembered a phrase by Glennon Doyle Melton Be a creator, not a babysitter and it finally dawned on me – It’s not your baby. Let it go. The process of creation was like taking care of a baby, but once it’s done, once I have decided to let it into the world as an independent entity I cannot run chasing after it. It’s not my job!
I realized that I WAS indeed ready to let it go as my creative energy is concentrated on writing now. And I am more than happy that someone decided to give it a new life, a new taste and look. Who knows what it is going to turn out into: stay the same, become a literary or a comedy club, political or gay community? It’s no longer in my hands to control it. And honestly, I don’t want to. I trust the universe and strongly believe that it’s gonna be just as it is supposed to be. So later that night I sat down at the computer. I put the guy as the admin of the page. I removed myself from that position and sent my blessings. Run my baby! You’re a big boy now. I trust you’ll be just fine. I felt relieved and proud.
This is a lesson I am still learning. Creative process is so all consuming, you put all your heart into it and it does often times feel like tending a very fragile baby of yours. However I have seen a number of times that too much attachment to your work is not at all a virtue. Following my creations and trying to protect them from the harsh world drains me off energy so needed for further creative endeavors. I know I’ve got to learn to let them run free into the wild (or wide world web:) and take care of themselves if I don’t want to turn into a paranoid babysitter. Learning it daily, one baby at a time…
Are you also in the creative process? How do you deal with attachment issues, folks?
A mother, but only of ONE,